#riverdale season 1-3

[rythmicjea]

Them: What's your favorite season of Riverdale?

Me: Season 7!

T: Why?

Me: Okay. So after they fail to stop a comet hurdling to Earth they time travel back to 1955-

Wait... What?

Okay, so in Season 6 they get superpowers...

How?

Okay, let me go back a little, at the beginning of season 6 we're introduced to a parallel universe called RiverVale and that leaches into a Riverdale.

... How is there a parallel universe?

Oh, so at the end of season 5, Hiram Lodge detonates a bomb under Archie'a bed while he and Betty are about to have sex.

OMG! Why would he do that?

Oh! So, that's because after everyone graduates and moves away Hiram basically destroyed the town so he could make money off a real estate development scam and when Archie found out he brought everyone back to stop him.

I thought they were high schoolers...

Okay, so they graduated at the end of season 4 after spending most of the year trying to figure out who tried to kill Jughead for a third time. Because Jughead goes to this private school called Stonewall Prep.

A THIRD TIME?

Yeah. See, at the end of season 3 Coke Sprite didn't want to practically be naked at 4am during a Canadian winter so they wrote him out of the scene and people think that the writers based the whole plot around that.

When was he almost killed the second time?

Right, so in season 3 they do an homage to the Satanic Panic surrounding DnD by creating a game called Gryffins and Gargoyles that asks you to gamble your life on drinking poisoned Kool-Aid. And that's completely separate to the organ harvesting cult that tried to suck in Betty through her mom and sister. Also this is all happening while Archie is in juvie-

Good guy Archie is in Juvie??

Yeah. So, in season 2, Jughead joins a gang (and this is the first time that he's almost killed because Hiram basically sends him off to be slaughtered but he survives) and Archie doesn't like that he did that so he joins ranks with Hiram because he's dating Veronica and thinks he can play both sides (he can't). And when Veronica chooses Archie over her dad, Hiram frames Archie for murder.

I thought it was about Archie Comics...

The show is about a town. A small town. And the people who live in that town. From a distance it presents itself like so many other small towns all over the world. Safe, decent, innocent. Get closer though and you start seeing the shadows underneath...

[natsudragneelgf]

sorry sorry sorry SORRY I can't stand core 5 Riverdale content that doesn't include Toni like it's core 4 anyway why would you add one singular slot to include Cheryl but not Toni it pisses me off to noooooooo fucking end and I'm not willing to argue about it. Include Toni when you open the core 4 bracket or fucking perish very honestly

[hand-grenadeheart]

hi should I post my rarchie fic? I’m man enough to admit that I’m scared someone’s gonna be mean about it and I’ll never post my fics ever again but also there’s no Archie x Reggie content.. be the change you want to see in the world

[riverdale-retread]

Riverdale re-retread with a new appreciation for Archie??

This ask gave me what can only be described as a really bad brain itch as soon as I saw it. I've had to confront the fact that I've been sleeping on Archie Andrews, and there are 137 episodes of TV for me to watch like it's new! Dunno about doing a whole manic write up of every episode like I did during the pandemic but the retread urge is fully activated.

Personal aside: I've been looking for a new show to get into, documented on my mainblog @storkmuffin (Hi everyone, this is a sideblog), and it just hasn't been working out, leading to the conclusion that, perhaps, Riverdale is actually the only tv show for me.

[riverdalesongbrawl]

Season 3 - Round 1

Josie quits as La Bonne Nuit's resident singer, forcing Veronica to perform Maybe This Time as the resolutions of the episode's storylines play out. The most memorable is no doubt Archie's dead body being discovered by rangers as Veroncia belts out: "Maybe this time I'll win!"

Josie and Archie perform People Like Us together. The montage includes Gladys and JB plotting to take over Riverdale and ends with Archie and Josie sharing their first kiss.

[throwupgirl]

[dizzyizzystiddies]

Petition for KJ Apa to be in season 2 of Our Flag Means Death

[book-tease]

wait the series finale of riverdale was last night??? might watch it with no context because like. that show started this blog. there’s such a soft spot in my heart for it

[doerot]

POLYCULE REAL????????

[feathers-fallen-on-riverdale]

Season 1 Episode 3: Chapter 3 - Body Double GRUNDY'S CORPSE IN THE PALM OF MY-

[Ep. Statues: Already Watched/First Time Watching + Remember/Vaguely/Don't Remeber]

Cheryl you dramatic ass hoe. You literally just said "I'm guilty" in front of your entire class made a whole scene and only waited to elaborate until you got cuffed and taken to a secluded room???! This girl has zero brain cells she just fakes it till she makes it.

Also did they even read her her rights?

I WAS RIGHT HE WAS GONNA RUN AWAY. WITH POLLY(?).

I think she was pregnant but how could I have possibly forgotten such a big detail (says person who has forgoten all the big details up until now).

..... I don't remember much of Cheryl's parents (expect that Cheryl's mother was a dominatrix? Please tell me that's a hallucination) but wow from that 1 scene they said "Fuck subtlety. We are evil mustach twirling villains".

Okay but Alice seems to represent the very real treat of media coverage being pushed by a personal agenda to be a smear campaign.

HOWEVER I know the cw writers aren't that good, so this is a Supernatural brand of accidental good writing.

Fuck ya Archie lets goooo! Ignore Grunkle, confess what you know! Expose her!

Me when he didn't expose Grangle ^^^

Hold up Veronica's dating outside the polycule? I don't remember this!

Betty: Juggy 😘😍😍😊😊

Me:

I got past the cringe and into the emotional hits. Now it's 50/50

They bounce off each other well, they have half decent chemistry. Realising why the fandom fandom latched onto Bughead as the het ship of choice.

Also they are both bi4bi.

Chuck is being suspiciously nice. And they're really speed running this shit....

Okay Grungly not only are you being a crazy freak about Archie coming forward about information (which anybody would have applauded him for and he left your name out) but you're using your power dynamic to punish him for it? Get the fuck out. This woman makes my skin crawl.

"Sticky maple, it's exactly what it sounds like." Mmmmh no it's not. That doesn't elaborate anything at all. Man allos are..

I'm feeling a deep seated glee at Veronica's reaction and that Kevin and Betty 100% support her.

She just... burst in there. Okay. Love that for her! No hesitation no "omg she saw him naked and got all flustered" nah my girl just body slammed him outta the way like Cruella on a highway. Veronica road rages confirmed. Also.

SHE'S HOLDING BETTY'S HAND!

Wait so the first official use of "B & V" is by a slut shaming asshole named Chuck Clayton???? Okay.... how about no. And canon is what I want :)

But man I love the use of "B & V". Sounds like the name of a bed and breakfast. Hmmmm maybe after the show is over Betty and Veronica move to Vermont, open a charming B&B called "B & V's Bed and Breakfast" like another CW queer couple?

Love that Betty snapped at Chuck. Zero hesitation no longer gives half a shit about seeing a dick. Claws out for her girlfriend.

"The betas you dated in New York" ........... RED FLAG ALERT 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩also a really funny one cause you're probably thinking "who in their right mind talks like this"? And then you realise... yeah every teenage fuck boy.

I am actually so concerned. Please somebody talk to Weatherbee about getting these guys thier shots I think they've got rabies. Why the fuck else are they barking?

😑🤨 Doiley is giving alt-right redit incel.

"Anything you want *bites lip* except for my body"

The mf sitting beside her, just trying to graduate high school and get the hell outta here:

Ohhh the pussycats arc. Pretty sure 1 of them quits and bands with Archie.

Wasn't she like, the Gargoyle King's no. 1 groupie?

My support group maker Betty headcanon is being furthered here.

Cheryl??? Girl do you have a story you'd like to share with the class?

Me, pointing to the Cheryl Bitch-O'Meter ready to slide it higher: Honey you can't keep doing this. I can't defend you.

Cheryl: Sluts

I mean they (the writers) aren't doing this whole "we're gonna tackle a social issue experienced by teens, mostly girls" thing great per say, but the intent is there... I think. And it kinda hits when Ethel mentions that she went to the Principle and he didn't do shit.

Cheryl: Proof that what, boys will be boys?

Me, already adding 2 bow and arrows to the meter: yah no. That's enough. It's giving pick me girl

Jughead pulling a Batman got me going like, "oh no, my pathetic bi trans emo boys, they're multiplying".

Of fucking course the gun scare was caused by a fucking idiotic teen with unbridled access to firearms. God help me I don't live in a country where that's a problem but even I can pick up the subtext, it's hitting me in the face like a 2x4.

Okay the scene where Josie is like "you can't write our experience" and Archie is like "shit you're right my bad" is actually very good but ik for a fact that one shitty lyric suggestion from gingerbread later will flip that shit over so fast.

Aaaand I was right. Flipped so fast.

"Just how depraved is this town"

Like I promise you Veronica you're gonna wish it stopped it here.

"A B&E with B&V" lovely alliteration there Cheryl.

"Trev told Valerie, who told Josie, who told Ginger, who told Tina who told me". Okay damn. But far more realistic than I expected. It's a highschool there are no secrets. The only thing I simply refuse to believe is that that the chain of Chinese whispers is that solid or effective.

I wonder how many students hear about the wild shit this lot get up to and just go "Absoulty not. It's our circus sure. But I, as a monkey am not being paid enough for this. Or at all."

"Polly grew up too fast. I don't want to blah blah blah"

"I like it." Oh the helicopter mother damage it showing.

Okay who has a pool in that small a town?

OH the black bob wig my Absoulte Enemy.

Easy on the drinks there Alice- OH she just bitch slapped her huh? Now I feel like I'm just watching the real housewives.

Okay Romeo and Juliet balcony scene. Secret meeting at the masked ball I see you.

OH Fred. "What made you take such an interest in my son?" Get HER ASS FRED 🔪😡🤬

"Park avenue princess to cater waiter" exhibit ... idk H of reasons Alice is actually Karen; disrespect of customer service/servers.

😬 hold up. Thier drugging him?! And those are- okay. Who is writing these scripts??!

Betty... nah.

OH Fred Andrews... this show doesn't deserve you.

Betty, Betty. Denial is a river... ya know.

Okay but can we talk about the fact that only Hermione (Veronica's mom) showed up to negotiate with Weatherbee? Betty's mother? Not even in the shot. How much you will to get that she was willing to leave Betty high and dry, on her own, as an extra punishment.

"Betty and Veronica, now B&V, maybe forever, were forged" BERONICA SWEEP.

ANDREW. WHAT. ARE. YOU. DOING.

FINALLY. THE BOMB HAS. GONE. OFF.

~

Archie ab shot count (per episode then added together per season): None this episode but we'll put an honourary 0.5 in there for Chuck.

Cheryl's Bitch-O'Meter: 🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹🏹|🏹 I know this is supposed to be an episode of growth and what not. But the slut shaming and just... general *indicates vaguely* merits this in my opinion.

Is it a bird? A plane? No it's a new headcannon pulled right out of thin air! :

bi4bi Bughead

Veronica has road rage

B&V's B&B (destiel paralle)

Reddit incel Doyley

Tag list (you can ask to be added [or removed]: @youre-only-gay-once

[bj986]

Farewell to the cast of Riverdale,

season by season

actors and characters

Season 1

Season 2

Season 3

Season 4

Season 5 (before Time jump)

[desjardins-sarah]

Sarah’s Instagram Stories, July 2023

[wolfofansbach]

BEING A LIST OF THE THIRTEEN GREATEST RIVERDALE LINES, ON THE OCCASION OF THAT SHOW'S TERMINATION

As our much loved/hated show comes to an end, I feel compelled to record, for posterity, the greatest thirteen pieces of dialogue to spring from the pens of RAS and his henchmen. It was, of course, originally a top ten list, but I simply could not exclude a few of these treasures. Without further ado: 

13. 

“I dropped out in the 4th grade, to sell drugs, to support my nana.” 

“That means you haven't known the triumphs and defeats, the epic highs and lows of high school football.” 

Spoken by: an inmate of Leopold and Loeb Juvenile Detention Center, and Archie Andrews. 

In: 3 x 2 

Yeah, okay, this one had to be on the list. It’s funny, I’ll admit. It’s a great example of the overwrought semi-sincere melodrama that helped make this show so special. It’s low on the list largely because The Normies got their hands on it, so every time I hear someone make a reference I get all “do not cite the deep magic to me, witch.” 

12. 

“No! No! What are we supposed to do now? I’m horny as heck!”

Spoken by: Archie Andrews 

In: 7 x 16

Season 7 is undeniably dreadful, and yet there are diamonds in the rough. The occasion is the failure of a projector, just as Archie and Reggie prepare to watch a pornographic film. The utter desperation with which KJ Apa delivers this line is exquisite. One is made to feel they are witnessing a genuine tragedy. 

11. 

“Tonight, they’re making an exception and debuting a cover of the song my parents claim they were listening to the night Jason and I were conceived.” 

Spoken by: Cheryl Blossom. 

In: 1 x 1 

Really a fantastic line. A wonderful encapsulation of the casual absurdity of Cheryl’s character, and a foretaste of the lunacy we would plumb in later episodes and seasons. 

10. 

“In case you haven’t noticed, I’m weird. I’m a weirdo. I don’t fit in and I don’t want to fit in. Have you ever seen me without this stupid hat on? That’s weird.” 

Spoken by: Jughead Jones

In: 1 x 10

A genuine classic. “High school football” before “high school football.” One is never entirely sure just how sincere the line is meant to be, both on a meta-level and in-universe. A perfect illumination of Jughead’s pretentiousness. It is made all the better by the occasional cuts to Lili Reinhard’s agonized face. 

9. 

“At the last dance, multiple students were murdered.” 

Spoken by: Principal Holden Honey. 

In: 4 x 2

Delivered as an explanation to Toni and Cheryl, as to why there would be no school dance this year. Principal Honey is in fact supremely rational in the cancellation of this dance. This being Riverdale, he is of course treated as an unreasonable tyrant. 

8. 

“Bro, I know all the secrets of this universe.” 

Spoken by: Archie Andrews (evil version)

In: 6 x 5 

Spoken as evil Archie reveals his evil plan to keep the parallel universes apart. KJ Apa’s delivery once again makes this line. He is comically sinister. Strangely, he sells it. 

7. 

“A Vughead kiss, right now, in the present might be precisely what it takes to save a future Bughead from imploding.” 

Spoken by: Jughead Jones. 

In: 2 x 14

One of those lines that both makes me laugh and makes me genuinely angry. This was a fairly early season, and this may have actually been the first line to get me asking, ‘did they genuinely write and deliver that?’ Extra points for use of the atrocious ‘Vughead’ portmanteau ship name rather than ‘Jeronica.’ 

6. 

“I’m the ultimate wild card. I am the daughter of The Black Hood. The nightmare from next door. I’m training with the FBI and I’m coming for you, you psycho bitch.” 

Spoken by: Betty Cooper

In: 4 x 14 

Just delicious. Another one of those lines that leaves you somewhat unsure whether or not the writers understood how genuinely hysterical it was. “The Nightmare from Next Door” sounds like an announcer hyping up a wrestler. Spoken with a raw sincerity by Lili Reinhart. Also points for the heavy homoeroticism between Betty and Donna. 

5. 

“For I am Cheryl Blossom, Queen of the Bees.” 

Spoken by: Cheryl Blossom.

In: 5 x 16. 

This one really doesn’t require any elaboration. 

4. 

“Elijah ascended…and I will, too.” 

Spoken by: Edgar Evernever.

In: 4 x 5. 

Admittedly, this one is only spectacular with context. But in context—the context being that Chad Michael Murray delivers this line while dressed like Evel Knievel and standing in a cartoon rocket right out of a Warner Bros cartoon—it becomes utterly magnificent. 

3. 

“It’s not queer baiting, it’s saving the world.” 

Spoken by: Veronica Lodge. 

In: 6 x 22. 

It’s actually hard for me to decide whether this one is funnier with or without context. Without context it’s wonderful, but it possibly becomes even funnier when you know that the context is that Veronica needs to kiss Cheryl to transfer superpowers into her body so she can turn into a Scarlet Witch knock-off and stop a magic comet summoned by Sephiroth an English wizard who is also the Devil. 

2. 

“If there’s no wedding reception, it means the Gargoyle King has won.” 

Spoken by: Kevin Keller. 

In: 3 x 12.

One of my personal favorites. This is a perfect line because like #3, it requires no real elaboration. There is absolutely no context in which it isn’t hysterical. 

1 .

“Word of my exploits serving Nick his comeuppance has seeped into the demimonde of mobsters and molls my father used to associate with, so the five families are sending their youngest and brightest, their ‘princes,’ as it were to, well, come court the rare Mafia Princess who can belly up to the bar with the big boys.

Spoken by: Veronica Lodge. 

In: 2 x 20. 

This is, in my opinion, the all-timer. Every word is perfect. The rapid-fire alliteration. The use of the word ‘demimonde.’ The entirely unnecessary addition of ‘as it were.’ This is borderline Dr. Seuss. The fact that Camila Mendes delivered it without cracking a smile should have won her an Emmy. No. An Oscar. This line is Riverdale. 

[leotanaka]

RIVERDALE (2017 - 2023) Season 3, Episode 1: Labor Day

I SAW THE TV GLOW (2024) dir. Jane Schoenbrun

[riverdalesongbrawl]

Heathers - Round 1

Archie and Josie decide to give their relationship a real shot in Fight For Me.

In Seventeen, Bughead and Choni yearn for some normalcy in this crazy town of Riverdale and choose each other.

Kangs get teenage gay married by Evelyn Evernever to Our Love is God.

[girlhorrror]

on my hands and knees begging you to reblog this is important research to me